When it’s been so long since you’ve kissed someone
And your best lines fall on deaf ears
When all your days drift into one
How life looks rosier perched in the pub!

When you heard the Carling calling
(But you didn’t heed the warning)
And a “roll up” just delays your woes.
When you thought that you knew better
(But then received a letter)
And now all you can see is –
Bills, bills, bills, bills, bills..

But I won’t give up on life ‘til my last breath leaves me
I’m going to watch the news with Peter Levy!
Look around – life’s plainly absurd
(Though I’ve had a few ales – and my words may be slurred..)

There’s so much more to life than the 9 to 5
That terminal struggle to stay alive
O – look around, life’s plainly absurd!

So let’s open the wine..

When your rent’s gone up (but your job went East)
For a tenth of what they paid you
When you’re always broke
How can you afford fun? (love)
Don’t you wish you’d been born someone else?

And whilst you skulk in the shadows of the valley of debt –
Well, everyday life goes on
The revolution’s on telly (but you’re there at the bus stop)
Thought three just went by
And now it starts to rain..

But I won’t give up on life ‘til my last breath leaves me
I’m going to watch the news with Peter Levy!
Look around – life’s plainly absurd
(Though I’ve had a few ales – and my words may be slurred..)

So we vary the routine going 8 ‘til 4 but
That still leaves you tired and bored
O – look around, life’s plainly absurd!

So let’s have some more wine..

When your name’s synonymous
With Alcoholics Anonymous
(And for some reason you just can’t remember why..)

When you heard the Carling calling
(But you didn’t heed the warning)
And now nothing will dispel your woes
They say “What doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger”
But you can’t take this heartbreak very much longer!

Still I won’t give up on life ‘til my last breath leaves me
I’m going to watch the news with Peter Levy!
Look around – life’s plainly absurd

(Though I’ve had a few ales..)

So when you’re lying in the gutter just looking at the clouds
And your toast always lands butter side down
O look around – life’s just absurd!
Though you know in your heart things could be so much worse!

So I won’t give up on life ‘til my last breath leaves me
I’m off to watch the news with Peter Levy!
O – look around – life’s so absurd!

So let’s finish the wine!
(There’s no more wine…)